On Your First Date...

10) "My ex-girlfriend/boyfriend loved coming to this restaurant"
09) "My ex-girlfriend/boyfriend owns this cinema"
08) Shout "Waste him, you #@$%!@" into your mobile phone
07) "See that table over there? They are my family"
06) "I am saving some of this food for my pet ferret"
05) "My dad/mum wants me to be home by nine"
04) "My psychiatrist says I am doing very well now that I am on Prozac®"
03) "I collect snakes. What's your hobby?"
02) "Come visit my workplace someday. I work at the local mortuary"
01) "Do you mind getting the bill? I am broke" (if you are a man)


Meeting Your Boyfriend/Girlfriend's Parents For The First Time...
10) "You are as sexy as your daughter"
09) "Smoking causes cancer" (if his/her parents smoke)
08) "Have you heard about the latest anti-wrinkle cream?"
07) "Maybe we should go to a restaurant for dinner instead"
06) "Is that your sister? She's beautiful. Does she have a boyfriend..."
05) "We are having fish for dinner? I can't stand the smell of fish"
04) "Your house/apartment needs some serious cleaning up/painting"
03) "Is that your car in the driveway that I just backed into?"
02) "He was so shy when I first kissed him on the lips"
01) "I am glad I ate something before coming over"

Making Love (if you are a woman)

10) "There's a spider on the ceiling"
09) "The ceiling needs painting"
08) "Oh... Phil/David/Dylan" (when your partner's name is John/Chris/Michael)
07) "What are we doing after this?"
06) "My parents should be coming in any moment"
05) "Oops, I think we forgot to lock the front door"
04) "Wake me up when you're done"
03) "That's all?"
02) "Have you ever considered Viagra®?"
01) "Are you in?"

Making Love (if you are a man)

10) "Can we turn off the lights?"
09) "Have you ever heard of breasts implants?"
08) "Your underwear looks like my mum's"
07) "Am I your first?"
06) "Did you wash yourself before this?"
05) "I have to get back to work after this"
04) "These expired condoms sure save me some serious cash"
03) "Is it me or is it you?"
02) "One more time"
01) "Can I tie you up?"